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Malmesbury Bowls and Social Club

Paul the Pyschic Octopus and his Parsimonious Predictions

By Paul Lucas Malmesbury Bowls and Social Club

Friday, 15 September 2017


Malmesbury Bowls and Social Club Contributor


Tomorrow, Saturday 16th September, will see six games played in the Club Competitions' Finals. Your ever obliging web editor has consulted Paul the Pyschic Octopus who successfully predicted the results of 10 games in the 2010 World Cup. So don't shoot the messenger, blame the octopus.

First up is "Gentleman" John and Joan against Team Reynolds. in the Ladies' Invitation. Prediction: Team Reynolds.

Second, Neil who is on form this year and Ian who has had an interruption due to illness after a good season. Prediction: Neil in the Novice Cup.

Third: Our more experienced Rose should prevail against Heather in the Ladies Championship: Prediction Rose

Fourth, in the Men's Handicap, it all depends on which colour bowls Roger plays with, will he use his tried and trusted black woods or will he attempt to bedazzle Tim with his luminescent pink woods ? Paul the Pyschic Octopus, after much consideration, predicted Tim, our club champion..

In the afternoon, we have Derek the Cat in the Men's Championship against Brian, who will be playing his second game in a day. Paul the Psychic Octopus has considered the weather forecast here and favours Derek the Cat, so the prediction: Derek

And the second game of the afternoon, will be Neil, also playing his second game of the day against Jim in the Senior Shield. Which of the two Lancashire Hotpots will win ? Will Neil be prevented from starting by a steward's enquiry about the colour of his trousers ? Are they truely white ? Both Neil and Jim have played very well this year, however our Northern lads have a tendency to fade in and out of a game, so who will be the stronger mentally and physically ? Paul the Psychic Octopus predicts Jim by one after Neil knocks the jack out of the head onto one of Jim's woods at the back.

After all the excitement of the Saturday, on Sunday we have two games, first up in the Club Pairs, El Presidente with the much improved Dave against Bob with his psychedelic woods and Ian "Beam me up Scotty" Anderson. This will be another close and long game with Bob and Ian coming out on top.

The last game of the weekend will see John and Jim in the Men's Two Wood. Both have played well in this competition this year. After much deliberation, Paul the Psychic Octopus has decided that it will be John with another nail biter by one on the last end.

Best of luck to everyone on the day. May the best woman or man or pair win ! And at the end of the day it is only a game or is it ....................

Contact Information

John Smith

  • 01666 823643

Find Malmesbury Bowls and Social Club

The Pavilion, St John's Street, Malmesbury, Wiltshire, SN16 9BS


Additional Information

There are limited car parking spaces at the club. If possible, please park in Cross Hayes. It is a short walk from Cross Hayes, down Silver Street, to the club house.