Four bowlers were out on the Green practicing. As one of them was about to bowl, they saw a funeral procession go by.
Instead of bowling, the bowler removed his cap and placed it on his chest until the funeral had passed.
At this point, one of the others said, "You know, that was the most touching thing I've ever seen."
And the bowler answers, "Well, I was married to her for 15 years. It was the least I could do!"

John requested his Church to check if they played bowls in Heaven.
After a week the Priest approached John with the answer.
He said, "I have good news and bad news".
John said, "Tell me the good news first".
The Priest said, "The good news is that they do play bowls in Heaven".
"What's the bad news ?", asked John.
The Priest said, "Well John, the word is out that your name is down for the pairs next Saturday".

Historical evidence has been found indicating that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers.
Unfortunately, the league records and where they played were not amongst the find.
Historical experts now believe that we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.

On their honeymoon a husband confesses a secret to his new wife.

"Darling, I'm a bowls fanatic," he says. "You'll never see me at the weekends and all our holidays will be at bowls tournaments."
"I've got a confession too," replies his new wife. "I'm a hooker."

"That's ok," replies the husband.
"Just concentrate on your aiming point and take a bit more green."

The team third, having just delivered his bowl, collapses on his way back to the head.

The other rink members shout down to the skip just as he is about to let go of his bowl.

The skip has a look and responds with "It's OK, I can draw around him!" 

Lead: "How much am I short?"
Skip: "You ought to know, you're closer to it"

Three retirees, each with some hearing loss, were playing lawn bowls one fine March day in the Algarve.
One remarked to the other: "Windy, isn't it?"
The second replied: "No, it's Thursday."
And the third chimed in with: "So am I ... let's gave a beer!"

One bowler proudly showed off his brand-new, expensive bowls.

Another player asked, “Do they improve your accuracy?” He replied, “No, but they make me miss in style.”